Fish Out of Water

Business is not easy. When I transitioned to the private sector, I felt a bit like a fish out of water. Trying to figure out the way to set workflows, learn new systems, own my role, and act like not only I knew what I was doing, but was also comfortable doing so. In fact, there were times I felt like a fraud. Maybe business was cut out for other people, but not for me.

Then, I remember being a rookie officer. The stakes at hand and having to learn a lot of critical information on the fly. I like to look back and think that I was worthwhile in this position, but that also did not come easy. I had to learn strong communication and problem-solving skills as well as command presence. I had to make decisions even when the situation was not abundantly clear and concise. I had to develop a sense of people, behavior, and instinct. This was not easy, and I failed...a lot.

I remember letting a group of suspects get away because I left the car in park and had to chase it down before it hit a retaining wall. I remember abandoning my car in the middle of the street because I thought I could chase down a suspect on a bicycle on foot. Spoiler alert- I was not as fast as I felt I would be in that moment. There are numerous examples of times that I was just winging it and hoping that I would still be allowed to come to work the next day.

But what I learned is that it's about the effort. It's about showing up. It's about being a part of the team and doing the work. You are going to fall. You are going to drop the ball. That's being human. It's getting back up and coming back the next day to work harder that separates the mundane from the extraordinary. When I look back on my time policing, I think about the times working cases, but I think about the people more. The experiences we shared. The milestones along the way that we accomplished together. These times, both good and bad, molded us as not only professionals but as people.

When you have a good place to work, you have a home away from home (or for us remote workers- one and the same). You have a team that does not focus on the negatives and the mess-ups but builds you up because you are a member of the pack. An employee can feel like a professional and not just a cog in the wheel. Knowledge is shared. Teams are connected. Processes are refined and enhanced with the best objectives and aspirations in mind.

Business is not easy. Policing is not easy. Life is not easy. But in each of these, we get by with a little help from our friends (or a lot). I still sometimes feel like a fish out of water, but that's okay. Because that's where change happens. That's how you grow. I'll keep showing up. And when I finally find my place in the pond, I’ll be ready for the next fish that flops on the deck looking for support and air.